WINNERS KNOW HOW TO DISREGARD COMMENTS THEY HEAR FROM OTHERS
Winners are often the greatest guys at barbecues because they know when it’s time to leave, even though their exit may seem kind of abrupt. Winners know to disregard comments they hear from others, like “Dude, why are you being such a douche?” and “Hey bro, can’t Jurgen have an opinion?”
Winners understand it is better to storm out of Joe Grant’s backyard, tossing a Coors Light into the pool on the way, rather than come to blows with a Danish loser. Brawling with a man in clogs is behavior unbecoming of a winner.
Winners do not attend many loser barbecues, because for some reason, they do not get invited more than once. You might think being a winner would be lonely, but it’s not. Winners would rather chat with other winners about “Match Game” on the Game Show Network message boards than attend a loser barbecue anyway.
Winners realize that losers need to talk incessantly about their own neuroses, like how they are convinced that they are their own worst enemies. When a loser says that the universe has big plans for her if she could just get out of her own way, the winner would only pretend to listen. In reality, the winner suspects there is no way in hell this loser is ever going to get out of her own way, or for that matter, anyone else’s.